Alas! I was ill today... But hooray! That means no work for me, and another chance to not only add a new post to the blog, but discuss an observation I have made today.
Due to my illness (no, it's not AIDs, just a headache)-(no, I haven't been sticking my head up any one's bum)-(no, nobody has stuck their head up MY bum either)-(no bums and no heads are involved!).
Anyway, due to being a bit ill, I went to the doctor, as any upstanding citizen would do. However, little did I realise that even those who are not such an upstanding citizens still go to the doctors! Whilst I was sitting waiting for my name to flash up on the screen, a young lady strolled in a took a seat in her bright red puffer jacket, whilst her two delightful offspring barged into the room and proceeded to smash the whole place up. After a couple of minutes I learn the toddlers names as the mother screams out 'HOLZ!!! CONNOR!!! Get 'ere NAH!'... Holz and Connor, I'm guessing Holz is short for Hollie (as I doubt she would name her child holiday, although you never know these days with Chavs). I don't think you can get more stereotypically dregg-ish names if you tried...
I spent the next 20 minutes observing this wonderful Bracknell-ite in her natural environment, her kids running amok, playing with her tongue piercing with her teeth, and chatting really loudly on her phone, brilliant stuff. Terms such as 'PACK IT IN!' and 'DON'T MAKE ME TELL YOU AGAIN!' were shouted through gritted teeth as she made a weak attempted to discipline her children subtly. And it wasn't just the mother that provided fantastic entertainment! Connor would be smashing his hands against the walls shouting all kinds of things at passers by, as Holz would be picking up any 'waiting room toy' she could lay her hands on, before launching it at a)the floor; b)the wall; c)her mum; and d)her little brother.
Before you ask, don't worry I was safely dodging noddy figurines as they flew passed my face, and I did cover my mouth to prevent inhalation of any chav-germs. All-in-all, very productive day of chav-observation.
Benji
full name on screen.
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