Observing human behaviour in the Bracknell area

Alas! I was ill today... But hooray! That means no work for me, and another chance to not only add a new post to the blog, but discuss an observation I have made today.

Due to my illness (no, it's not AIDs, just a headache)-(no, I haven't been sticking my head up any one's bum)-(no, nobody has stuck their head up MY bum either)-(no bums and no heads are involved!).

Anyway, due to being a bit ill, I went to the doctor, as any upstanding citizen would do. However, little did I realise that even those who are not such an upstanding citizens still go to the doctors! Whilst I was sitting waiting for my name to flash up on the screen, a young lady strolled in a took a seat in her bright red puffer jacket, whilst her two delightful offspring barged into the room and proceeded to smash the whole place up. After a couple of minutes I learn the toddlers names as the mother screams out 'HOLZ!!! CONNOR!!! Get 'ere NAH!'... Holz and Connor, I'm guessing Holz is short for Hollie (as I doubt she would name her child holiday, although you never know these days with Chavs). I don't think you can get more stereotypically dregg-ish names if you tried...

I spent the next 20 minutes observing this wonderful Bracknell-ite in her natural environment, her kids running amok, playing with her tongue piercing with her teeth, and chatting really loudly on her phone, brilliant stuff. Terms such as 'PACK IT IN!' and 'DON'T MAKE ME TELL YOU AGAIN!' were shouted through gritted teeth as she made a weak attempted to discipline her children subtly. And it wasn't just the mother that provided fantastic entertainment! Connor would be smashing his hands against the walls shouting all kinds of things at passers by, as Holz would be picking up any 'waiting room toy' she could lay her hands on, before launching it at a)the floor; b)the wall; c)her mum; and d)her little brother.

Before you ask, don't worry I was safely dodging noddy figurines as they flew passed my face, and I did cover my mouth to prevent inhalation of any chav-germs. All-in-all, very productive day of chav-observation.

Benji


full name on screen.

Fence (Or at least it used to be a fence...)

19 Feb 2006

I have just woken up, wandered into the lounge and through the window in front of me I saw the path of destruction which has been left behind after a night of drunken craziness. Our garden fence (or at least, it used to be a fence), is no longer stood upright, surrounding our lovely little patch of grass. Oh no, it is now laying in the middle of the garden with the odd bit of wood, on the pavement. And the reason for this destruction?......CHAVS.

Apparently, at 3am this morning, my housemates heard some shouting, and then some banging, and a noise that sounded particularly similar to that of a fence being kicked to the ground, and when they looked out of the window, they saw that it was infact OUR fence that was being battered by the adidas clad foot of a chav.

It was at this point that Andy shouted obscenities out of the upstairs window at them and they ran away....obviously complete Jessies! Somehow I managed to sleep through it, hence the discovery this morning.

So, I'm not too sure what happens now...We phone our landlord...someone comes out and fixes it...and the Chav gets away with it...not fair really, is it?

Kelly


Currently listening : Howl Howl Gaff Gaff By Shout Out Louds Release date: 24 May, 2005